A Reminder That You’re Human.
I. “You discover who you are in the presence of another.”
This is a quote from the psychotherapist Esther Perel in response to the fairly common phrase “I need to work on myself first.”
This gave me a lot of food for thought. I used to be a serial user of that sentence for years. Not anymore.
This is not about not “working on” yourself. This is more so a reflection that it is impossible to “prepare” for a relationship of any kind with another person, or the things you will discover about yourself through that experience.
II. “Don’t Try” — this video really struck me when I saw it probably about a year ago. I found the message immediately alluring (not to mention the quality of the storytelling).
III. It’s not your job to fix other people. When I finally realized this, I saw just how much grief it was giving me and the people around me.
Nobody likes to be “fixed.” Unless someone chooses to change, no change will take place.
In my experience, it’s a waste to tell people what to do or think. You can exert far more influence by doing what you think is right in your own life.
Play the game well, and others will want to play like you.
IV. Beware the dangers of commoditizing everything in your life → we live in what is commonly know as the information age (could we be entering the attention age?). It’s getting easier to track every aspect of your life – how many steps you take, how many minutes of phone calls you have every day, how many people liked your latest post. How many calories in you last meal.
It’s easy to get carried away, and develop a sense of self-worth off of these numbers.
However, I find a great sense of relief when I close my eyes and remind myself that while I may find these metrics useful, none of them are measuring the human experience. They don’t measure me.
You can’t measure what it means to be human.
Bonus
→ My new class on Skillshare now has nearly 3,000 students and was selected as a Staff Pick. The reaction has been phenomenal – thank you to all of you that have already taken it. If you’re interested, you can check it out here (with a free trial).
→ I have begun streaming on Twitch. No gaming, for now I’m going to be going on there to do Q&As, and painting sessions (where you can join me and do your own creative work at the same time). And soon, I’d like to begin doing “Mindstreams” where I work on my book (and again, you’re welcome to join me there and work on whatever it is you’ve got to do!). I’d love to see you there.
→ Speaking of livestreams, I did one with my friend Paul Taylor on his channel that was quite fun.
Thanks for reading!
Nathaniel Drew
