Hi everyone. I hope you’re having a lovely summer (technically it actually starts in 4 days, I know that sounds completely wrong).

I came across an interesting idea I wanna share with you today: the gap and the gain.

This is also the title of a book that I haven’t read (and it also isn’t where I heard of this so I cannot comment on it).

The idea is simple — there are two ways that you can look at things. You can either place your focus on:

I) The gap — that which is lacking. Example: you can run a 5k but not the half marathon you’ve set as your goal. The gap in this case: a seemingly insurmountable 16 kilometers that you aren’t fit to run (yet).

II) The gain — how far you’ve come. Example: perhaps a year ago you couldn’t do a 3k jog without feeling like you were gonna puke. The gain in this case: some serious progress as an athlete

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We’re wired to focus on what we don’t have – it’s a great evolutionary strategy when our hunter/gatherer ancestors had basically two options:

I) Be easily content with what you have and risk dying.

II) Obsess over the next meal before you’re even hungry, worry before the lions come to kill your tribe, etc. Gaps in safety and well-being can be found all over the place, there is no time to be “content.”

It’s easy for me to default to focusing on the gap. Without perspective, that way of looking at things can make me feel negative. That isn’t to say it’s ALL bad — when I worked on film sets as a freelance filmmaker, my “gap” was the fact that I was working to tell other people’s stories when I wanted to tell my own. That felt like fire on my ass and helped me get to where I am (so very positive!)

But that can go on forever. There are an infinite number of ways in which your life can be perceived as “lacking.” Reminding myself of all of the beautiful ways my life and my relationships are growing helps me avoid getting discouraged.

We can use both the gap and the gain, just select your dosage carefully,

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I gave some personal examples, but for the record, this way of looking at things can be applied to just about everything in life. Growing up, I remember hearing some version of this quote many times:

"We are the middle children of history. Born too late to explore Earth, born too early to explore the galaxy.”

That’s a “gap” way of looking at things. Seriously, we’re gonna call the times we’re living through too late/too early? I for one think it’s a fascinating moment to be alive, full of new discoveries AND we can build on what came before us. I’d rather fully embrace the fact that I’m here instead of spending my life wishing things were different (amor fati).