I Really Like Being Alone
I talk a lot about the immense value that deep connections have for me, and about creating meaningful friendships and a sense of community. Many things in life are more beautiful when shared.
That being said, there are plenty of things in life that are also beautiful, when not shared. What I mean is: I (also) really like being alone. Stretches of time and space to think and process and imagine.
I don’t see those two things (time alone & time with others) as contradictory or as mutually exclusive. I think they complement each other.
It’s not that I dislike people. It’s about having standards. I value certain forms of time spent with others, but not every social interaction was created equal.
I’ve never seen it better articulated than by the poet Warson Shire when she wrote:
“My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”
Yes. That is how I want to operate.
It was a massive realization in my life to finally see clearly that I’m considerably happier outside of certain relationships and certain dynamics where I would “give myself away” rather than within them. It’s an obvious thing to see when stated in plain English like that, but I didn’t see it before.
I think it comes down to self-respect.
Maybe it was because I wasn’t comfortable with my own company before. Scared to be bored or lonely. There are still moments when it’s a little scary to me because I’m not sure I’m ready for what I’ll find.
But, it turns out, I can actually be my own friend. We don’t often stop to consider the implications of our own personal relationships with ourselves. It seems like most of us are rather unkind to ourselves (I certainly can be).
The beautiful thing is, I have the power to decide what that relationship with myself looks like, and however silly or obvious that may sound, it’s something that I believe most people do not think about enough. I have the power to choose to be kind to myself. I can’t run away from myself anyway so might as well not make my own company miserable.
Two simple things you need to get there:
1) A curiosity/attention that you bring to your own internal dialogue.
2) Reminding yourself that this is a decision and that one of your choices is always: it is ok to be alone with myself.
Solitude can be very sweet.
Bonus
Want a sneak preview? Check out my 15-minute free preview of the course. We cover over 7 versions of each part of the video throughout the editing process that you can compare side-by-side.
More free previews: here’s an 8-minute free lesson from my brother Sky, who teaches the full Animation Course inside Frame by Frame
Music Recommendations
1) POV: you met someone at a party and all of your exchanges are effortless.
2) The original is good but the remix is better.
